Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he shaved USA in his pubs
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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