Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
