His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have fence marks all over my body
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