WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize