I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
