You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
