Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize