You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
