why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
