Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
