I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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