apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
