Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
