i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
