white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
