OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize