just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
