K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
