So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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