how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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