My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
