And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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