Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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