3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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