it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
