you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
