I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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