when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
