You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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