You really coming over, don't trick.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
