He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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