Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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