Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
