nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
