actually, I'm a sock model
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
