it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I stole a fireplace last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
