i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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