I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
