I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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