life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't put those talents on a resume
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
