omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
