i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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