home. puking in laundry basket.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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