if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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