My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
