from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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