READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to make out with him forever
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
