well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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