So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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