I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
