smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
