i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
