We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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