whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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