Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
