I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
