We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
