Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just high enough for therapy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
