Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
