DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
